How To Irritate People On The Internet

Want to make your username one of the most hated in the universe?  Follow these eight tips and in one week or less you will start receiving hate mail and be banned from at least 3 sites.

Be a Spammer!

There are multiple ways to accomplish this goal.  Take over someone’s e-mail address so they have to change a valuable address on many sites.  Leave totally irrelevant comments pushing a useless product.  Scrape blog content that the author spent hours on and repost all of it on a stupid site.  Make sure you have a web host that won’t reveal your identity and won’t help the original author.

DM often!

Send lots of Direct messages through Twitter.  If you want to be slightly irritating send autos that say “Hello.  Thanks for the follow.”  If you really want to get under their skin send a plug for your latest product.  Use your huge list of followers to plug your product, but never reply when they ask you a question or for a favor.

Be a cheater and never prosper!

After you enter a contest have a party and invite your extended family.  You can have them all vote for you and skew the vote.  Remember WordPress records the IP address so you will cause the author to waste time deleting all those false votes.

Become a Flaker!

Don’t follow through on your commitments.  Forget how to say no and just say take on tons of work.  Don’t communicate. Don’t tell your client that you need more time because you’re swamped or have real life problems.  Let yourself be seen on social sites but don’t answer your emails.

Scam People!

Those naive, busy mothers are ripe for scams.  You can promote yourself as an expert and charge up their credit card.  You could cause their husbands to be mad at them and their children to go hungry.  If someone actually confronts you about your scam ignore them.  Just buy some sleeping pills and forget about it.

Whine Your Way Through the World Wide Web!

By whining on your blog you will manage to alienate your readers.  By whining your way through forums, twitters, and other social media you can depress hundreds of people in 24 hours.

Give Bad Advice!

Don’t look at the questioner’s site.  Don’t take into account the skill level of the person asking the question.  Just throw out snippets of advice that you’ve read from the gossip magazines at the check out counter.

Fake It Till You Make It!

If you need to make some money online just promote yourself in a sneaky way.  Tell the truth, but not the whole truth.  Offer to teach what you know when in reality you don’t have a clue.

Need more of this excellent advice on how to irritate?  Pay me $49.95 and I’ll deliver 10 more tips right to your inbox, as soon as I use that address to spam many more people.

And you MLM people – we’re watching you.

This post was inspired by WAHM’s Talk Radio podcast #267.